


On Being Half Human

by moovelope



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, discussion of SCIENCE, not really - no one wants to hear about science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 09:24:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moovelope/pseuds/moovelope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose keeps asking him what's different, now.  The Doctor sometimes finds it difficult to answer.  It would help if she quit the kidney jabs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Being Half Human

"What else is different?"

The Doctor looks up from the kettle to Rose, who leans against the counter in the Tyler family kitchen.

"What is different about what?" he asks, though he already knows what she’s going to say.  He grabs another mug from the cabinet, knowing she’ll want a cup.

"About being half human,” she clarifies.

She almost always calls him half human, making it sound as if it were something gained.  He much preferred it over half Time Lord, which only made him feel the missing side of him more acutely.  The kettle clicks off before he has time to gather his thoughts and he postpones her question by fixing himself some tea.  She grabs him the sugar from the cabinet and he gives her a quick grin.

"Well, you already know the one heart business," he starts, stirring the sugar into his tea. He watches as the grains dissolve, getting wrapped up in the sight before continuing.  Rose patiently sits across from him at the counter, warming her hands around her own cup.

"Remember the day I first met you?  You asked me who I was and I told you that I could feel the speed of the earth beneath my feet and feel us hurtling through space?"

She smiles, imagines a different face and the texture of a different hand. "Confused me, that did.  Usually when someone asks you who you are you respond with a name, not some crack about how the world revolved around you."

He smirks a bit into his tea and takes a sip.  "I can't feel it anymore.  Well, I can only feel it a little bit.  It's like being on the edge of motion sickness all the time."

"Isn't that better than feeling like you're hurtling through space all the time, though?" she asks.

"How to explain... Imagine that you've had this ringing in your ears, for your entire life.  It isn't annoying, you're used to it.  Then one day, it stops.  Suddenly everything is just so quiet.  So still."

She pauses, only for a moment, to think of what to say.  Her slight frown turns quickly into a grin.

"They have those rides at carnivals that spin you around till you can barely think straight.  Maybe we should have a few go's on them."

"I'd need NASA level space training equipment to get the equivalent.  But if you're up for a carnival I think there's a few that are going on nearby-"

"You think?  I know you've been scoping these out for weeks.  Which one's the closest?"

.-.-.-.

"What else?"

"Mmphr."

"I know you're not sleeping."

"I was, until someone started nattering in my ear."

"I wasn't nattering, I whispered."

"No, definite natter.  It was an 8.5 on the natter scale, every ear drum in a five mile radius was ruptured and many- gah!"

"You're rambling."

"You stabbed me!"

"Doctor, really? That was a playful jab."

"To my kidney."

Neither of them spoke for awhile until he felt her exhale against him.

"Alright, I'll drop it."

"Rose, no wait. Give me a second."  She waits once again, gently tracing patterns with her fingers along his back.

"I... Hm.  Did you know- oh that feels great don’t stop on my account.  Did you know that we can detect the energy from the very beginning of time?"

"From the Big Bang? And we as in...?"

"Well, in this instance humans, but the Time Lords definitely knew this.  Humans can pick it up as radio waves constantly bombarding the earth.  I think they even made an image out of it, didn't look like much, but hey, it's the thought that counts.  I, and all Time Lords, could hear it.  The sound of the beginning of time, always a soft hum in the back of our minds.  It was kind of comforting to be able to actually feel when everything was created, where it all started.  It showed you how far you could go, how much there was to be explored.  It was the sound of creation and power and life."

"And now you can't hear it."

"Not one bit."

She nuzzles closer to him in response and softly kisses his cheek.

"Thank you," she whispers finally.

"Why do you want to know?"

"It just helps, is all."

He’s about to ask further but she has already burrowed her face into the pillows.  He sighs, tries to ignore the still silence of the night, and closes his eyes.

.-.-.-.

They’re sitting across from each other at work, Rose typing away on her computer as he tinkered with a pen.  He sticks his tongue out as he maneuvers the miniature screwdriver (not sonic) into the device.

“Rose, you said that the techies had got the sonic resonator working again, right?  I want to see if I can miniaturize it enough to fit into this pen without much trouble.”  Rose gives him a quick glance from her screen.

“A sonic pen?  Why not a screwdriver?” 

“Screwdriver’s been done.  Time for something new, I think.” 

Rose frowns.  Oh damn, he’d let that bit of sadness well up into his voice again, hadn’t he?  This version of himself never had the best control over his emotions.  She opens her mouth, probably to ask if he’s alright.

“Doctor…will it be able to write?”

“What?” he asks, surprised.

“The sonic pen, will it be able to write and sonic?” she asks.  She’s completely serious too.

“Rose, why would I make a pen that couldn’t write?”

“Well, your screwdriver didn’t look much like a screwdriver.”

“Don’t disrespect the screwdriver Rose.  It worked just fine on screws, I’ll have you know.”

She laughs and he smiles as well.   He’s about to go back to tinkering when she speaks again.

“Doctor, I’m just wondering, what else-?”

“What else do I miss?  Rose, I really must ask.  Why do you need to know?” he’s been wondering for the past few days why she keeps bringing up these differences from his past.  Why she needs to drag up these memories and feelings that at times he wished he could just forget.  Rose turns away from her computer.  She looks him dead in the eye.  Obviously she’s had an answer for awhile now.

"I want to know all the differences because it helps me understand what being a Time Lord meant, and how much you lost when you became part human.  I mean, there's the curiosity, but I also think that it might help to talk about some of the things you miss."

Oh.

“Oh,” he mutters.  That makes sense.

“You just hold so much in at times, and I want you to let it out when you need to.”

"I have to warn you, I miss a lot of things."

"I know."

“And, and I might not be able to tell you all of those things.  Some are just too painful to bring back up,” he explains further.  She nods.

“Got it, I’ll take whatever you’ll give me,” she says and holds out her hand.  He blinks, confused, and figures she wants the sonic pen.  He drops it into her hand.  “No, oh Doctor no, I wanted your hand,” she laughs, dropping the pen on the desk and grasping his hand.  He laughs as well.

“You know the thing you need most of all in the universe?” he asks her cheekily, still holding her hand.

“Oh god, you’re so corny!  The thing you need most of all is a hand to hold,” she answers, laughing.  The Doctor leans in and gives her a quick kiss, then grabs the pen back.

“That _and_ something sonic.  Always need something sonic around.”

She punches him, just a bit.


End file.
